who is reading this?

the "TB" entry

2004-06-24T22:01:00Z

Kristyna: "I kind of want Taco Bell."
Kristie: "Me too, but I left my dollar at home."

the "boom chicka waaaa!" entry

2004-04-28T20:52:16Z

My mom is morphing into a 70 year old man. She enjoys doing cross word puzzles, yard work, and her favorite food is corned beef hash! But I like this new persona of hers. We have been getting along very well for a change. Probably just because she's been making me dinner and cleaning my room for me. She's going back to work tomorrow, though. I feel bad but I'm also happy because I like being home alone after school. I am a horrible daughter!

Other things I'm horrible at:
-Being cool
-Math
-Talking on the phone
-Washing my hair on a regular basis
-Being anorexic
-Doing work in Fashion Merch.
-Listening to important things
-Keeping my legs closed

So today I went to Mrs. O'Leary's 1st grade class to hang out with the kids for Parenting. It was fun. They loved me, of course. This little bitch named Kayla was like all over me, though. I was in there for no more than five minutes and she was already holding my hand and telling me she loved me. I was all like, "NO, I WILL NOT MAKE OUT WITH YOU!"

Kristyna's crush list:
-Kanye West
-Little foreign boy from Botsford
-Antwoine from "Pimp my Ride"
-Mr. O'Brien
-Hitler
-YOUR MOM

I feel silly writing stupid shit and expecting people to read it. So, here are some random pictures.

Kristie knows how to rock out like no other.

My guinea pig, Mister. He is the biggest ladies man ever. He gets it on with his mother and sister.

This is Santiago. He's my aunt's nephew, but not my cousin. He's bashful and he says, "Aye, Kristynaaaa!"

So like this one time the vending machine at my school was all empty except for a Nutri-gran bar.

And then one time there was a condom just chillin' in the middle of the hallway. <3Clarenceville<3

That was pointless. I'm hungry.
BUY!!!!!111
kristyna.

P.S.

I LOVE MEAP.

EDIT::

Whats does your personality rate from 1-10? by morning_prayer
Your first full name
Your personality rates a	seven (you rock)
your best quality is	you dont follow the crowd
your worst quality is	NOTHING
this is because	youre unique

Created with the ORIGINAL MemeGen!

I think all those other quizzes and stuff are horse shit, but this one is definitely real.

the "hopefully!" entry

2004-02-12T00:06:28Z

The second half of today was insanely good. WE HAD A SUBSTITUTE IN FOURTH BLOCK. Please, contain your excitement. Walking into Mr. Hockman's and seeing a sub is better than an orgasm! (almost) Mr. Nelson was the sub and he really hates/loves me. He let Kristie and I get beverages from Mr. Watson's and we walked around and hoed and such. Then later in class he gave everyone a break and we got more beverages and hoed some more! It was grand. After school, Kristie took Greg and I for a drive past her favorite high school. KRISTIE IS STALKING NORTH FARMINGTON. Then we came over to my house and it was messy and I was embarassed but we had fun. We played this crazy Disney skating boarding game and it was so hardcore I wanted to slit my wrists and drink the blood.
TOMORROW MR. MCEACHEN IS GOING TO BE ABSENT SO I GET TO HANG WITH MY GURLIEZ IN ART AND WATCH MR. URQUHART MORE. Seriously though, I'm trying not to like Mr. Urquhart anymore because it's so stupid and pointless. However, I did take a really good stalker photo of him but my camera is at my other house so I can look at the picture right before I go to bed and have sexual dreams about him. (LOL I WISH :P)
In school yesterday fucking "Amy Hopper" (her name is so stupid I think she made it up) said that I look like a bitch, but it turns out I'm not. ^&%($^& Actually, first she asked me if I thought she was pretty. WHAT A FUCKING CUNT LICKER. She's 19, and dating a 16 year old she fucked after going out for one week. GO TO HELL WHOREBAG.
On a lighter note. Well, I don't really have anything else to say but I've never used that expression and I thought it fit well. Well, I had a lot of fun today and tomorrow will probably suck because there's no such thing as two good days in a row, is there!? Will Mr. Urquhart be high again like last Thursday? Will I have a good hair day? Will Mr. Hockman be absent again? Will I wake up to melted snow and 75 degree temperatures? Will I get to sit in the copy room in the dark by myself like I love to do? Will Mr. Urquhart walk in on me and rough me up on the copy machine? WE SHALL SEE.
kristyna.

Kristie and I: "Megan! Guess what we're doing on Friday!?"
Megan: "Going to the library?"

bonerbon @ 2004-02-08T14:31:00

2004-02-08T19:34:20Z

MY GOAL BY THE END OF THE SCHOOL YEAR IS TO BE A SLUTTY DRUG ADDICT

the photograph entry

2004-01-25T17:45:00Z

When I was cleaning out my old desk I found my detective notebook. This page alerted me to go to "342 Santer Street rihgt now!"

When I wasn't busy solving murder mysteries on Santer Street, I just chilled and drew bunnies.

It's a snake, you pervert!

These are my most favorite slippers of all time. When my friends come over, they like to make fun of them. And maybe when I'm home alone, I like to act like a ballerina. Maybe.

CAROLINA.

Mexican+Jew=BFFL<3!

Carolina's rendition of "Happy Birthday:" "Abby Birbay to jew! Abby birbay to jew! Abby birbday to joo-ooo! Abby birbay to jew!" Incidentily, the annoying Jewish girl thought Carolina was singing to her!

KrIsTiE anD i JuSt LykE 2 RaWk oUt HaRd, cUz tHaT'S jUsT WhO wE aRe! DoN'T HaTe.

Kristie and I also enjoy spontaniously doing snow angelz. This is like a personal ad! 2SWF seeking 2SWM who like to rawk out hard and make snow angelz.

...

If you're not jealous of my new shirt, I'm guessing you're not gay.

Meet my barn. I keep bodies in it.

...

...

Creepy!

Seriously.

Playing Guess Who with a 5 year old Mexican is not that fun.

...

I M CrEAmiNg My PaNtZ NoW!

BUY!
kristyna.

the "grandma's house" entry

2004-01-18T05:02:59Z

I'm updating for Kristie because she can't survive without me updating regularly.
Today I went to the Mexicans and it was all good, but there was this stupid little 6 year old Jewish girl named Rachel there who's my uncle's granddaughter (I have a very diverse family, JEWZ AND MEXICANZ REPREZENT). And you know I love the Jews, but this little bitch was hogging Carolina and it pissed me off. Now I'm at my grandma's house because I'm just an average teenager who has sleepovers with her grandma. DON'T HATE. I'm wearing huge pink sweatpants that belong to my grandma too so I'm feeling all sexy. I took pics of the pants and my Mexicans because I'm such an artsy photographer now. There is also this guy plowing in front of my grandma's condo and he's going about 45 miles per hour, no kidding. He ran into her garage door a little bit too and then sped away. I'm thinking he's a criminal snow plower. He comes at about 11:00 and plows in the darkness of the night. He's wanted in 45 states.
BYE NOW!
kristyna.

the library entry

2004-01-16T21:41:57Z

LIBRARY! LIBRARY! LIBRARY! It's my home away from home. Yesterday was a "heaven sent" snow day. Fuck that. I wanted to go to school and get my finals over with. Nothing can ever just be perfect. Well, except right now is pretty good. And shopping was pretty perfect too. Ok, lots of things are perfect; it just depends on how you look at it. Everyone needs to cheer up.
The black boy next to me (actually he's a grown man) is snorting and coughing really loud and he's not covering his mouth. It's making me nauseous. There's also a man sitting with this little girl asking her name and stuff. I'm wondering if he's a pervert. And the boy sitting next to the loud snorter is looking at me strangely. I wonder if there's a booger hanging out of my nose or something.
I keep on having dreams about death and dying. Last night I died. I can't really describe it, but it scared the shit out of me, and rightfully so I think. I'll spare everyone the details. Sometimes it's annoying when people talk about their dreams.
I kind of feel like writing a lot. Just writing and writing and writing. But I don't have much to say. That saddens me. Things have just been strange lately and people have not quite been themselves. I don't know if it's me or them. Everyone's sad or pretending to be, and nobody gives a shit about what they have. I think that some people could reach Nirvana and still have something to complain about. Assholes.
Now the little girl is telling the man her phone number and the black man next to me is saying "Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap..." Libraries are such a strange place. Kristie just informed me that the man is the little girl's dad. Who is the pervert now? Still me. Haha. The snorter man is looking at a slide show of sweet little cartoon bears. How darling.
I think it would be funny to sit next to someone and write about them and make it really obvious. You can just turn your screen towards them, stare at them and just write everything they're doing. It can't be illegal or anything. One day.
Sincerely,
kristyna.

i love being a pervert

2004-01-12T21:20:31Z

I'm at the library right now because my computer is having technical difficulties. Kristie and I had an AWESOME time today like we always do when we hang out after school. Try not to be too jealous.
The boy next to me is subtly trying to read my journal. I'M ON TO YOU, ASSHOLE.
I wish I could post photos but they're all on my real computer. Kari's birthday was Saturday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY KARI. I think this will be your lucky year...maybe you'll finally get pregnant!! (I have my fingers crossed for you)
Finals are this week and I don't care because finals are stupid.
I'm in love with Mr. Watson's new aid. Lauren and Kayleigh said he's a pervert so SCORE! He can touch me innappropriately anytime. As can Mr. Deroo. And Conor. (Kristie's car of course)
Today in Economics Kristen and Meghan and I talked about foreskins, porn, nipples, etc. I love being a pervert, I really do. PERVERT PRIDE.
I'm going to go now,
kristyna.

the "lyke OMG it's 2004 now" entry

2004-01-01T20:50:11Z

Ah, the joys of a brand new year. I feel like a completely different person. I feel fresh, like I'm getting a whole new start to my life. YEAH FUCKING RIGHT. I could give a shit less about the "new year." It's just a hassle because now when I write dates on papers for school, I have to write "04" instead of "03" and that kind of thing is really tough for me because I'm black and all. NIGGA PLEAZE.
I'd like to give a shout-out to mah gurl Kari because I had fun last night and she put up with my boring, drugged up ass and she bought me a slurpee which is big points in my friendship book. I do record those kinds of things, you know. Well, I have nothing else to write about. My mouth is hurting right now and my face is swollen and fat. GO '04!!
kristyna.

the "wisdom teeth wrap-up" entry

2003-12-31T00:26:35Z

Man, what a shit load of grief over nothing. I seriously feel good, I'm just a little sore and my face is kind of swollen and funny looking. More than anything I want to get out of the FUCKING HOUSE and do something. I'm not really allowed though so anyone feel free to stop by!! (My dad's) I'll give a brief wrap up of the procedure now. (Just skip this paragraph if you don't care, which is completely understandable) I wasn't really nervous the day of at all because I really have a problem with being nervous. I'll get nervous before stupid things like concerts and Christmas... but doctor's appointments and surgeries?? Forget that shit. My (BIG) brother was nearly crapping his pants because he was terrified so I was the big girl and I went first. First they gave me this gas which I must admit was extremely enjoyable. I felt like my body was floating and spinning all around and the doctor kept on asking my all these confusing question like my address and what road my orthodontist was located. Then they stuck an IV in me and the doctor said, "See you in a few minutes," and that was that. I woke up and there was this nurse and I REALLY wanted to hold her hand. That's all I wanted to do; just hold her hand. At that moment, if there was a pile of a million dollars on one side of the room, and the nurse holding out her hand on the other, goddamn it I would have grabbed her hand. It was strange. After that whole weird occurance my mom came in and I kept asking about my brother and she said he was asking about me. How darling. Then after we got ready to go he kept saying "Rock and Roll!" Man, that made me laugh a lot. I've been fine since we left but my brother has been bleeding a lot of stuff because he's older and they had to dig out his roots. All I've been doing is eating mashed potatoes, drinking slurpees religiously and sleeping. I'm bored.
Finally, some pictures!

"Kristie is here!"
We planned on just going to Border's but we had to make a pit stop at Bel-Aire lanes because the whole building all photogenic and such.

Don't let the retro coolness decieve you, though. It is one ghetto ass scary bowling alley.

After Border's, we couldn't pass up...

I've been going here with my pappy since I was a wee lass.

While in Marvin's, Kristie and I proceeded to act like we had (Swedish?) accents for no particular reason. "Ooh, looka! Is a choo-choo!"

That's me!

Kristie and I didn't have any change to do the cool photobooth thing so we just went in it and took our own pictures. My hair looks stangely fried and ugly and Kristie looks HAWT.

I like their decor. Out-of-towners: If you ever come to Michigan, you should go there. After all, EMINEM has been their before!!!
I'm still bored and bored,
kristyna.

p.s. THANKS FOR ALL THE COMMENTS. YOU GUYS ARE SO NICE.

the short entry

2003-12-28T23:22:24Z

Kristie and to whom else this may concern,
I'm not posting pics tonight because I don't have time. They will be posted in the near future though I promise!
Sincerely,
kristyna.

P.S. I'm getting my wisdom teeth taken out tomorrow FOUR REALZ. Feel free to leave words of encouragement.

the sibling conversation entry

2003-12-28T18:54:09Z

BROTHER: "Fucking cocksucker!"
SISTER: "Did you seriously just say 'cocksucker' in front of two ladies!? God, you cunt licking pussy eating ass fucker! Oh yeah, and you suck on testicles."

the "i love myself" entry

2003-12-28T08:32:48Z

What's the first thing that I did when I got my digital camera? I took pictures of myself of course! I thought it would be cool to be all mysterious and never post a picture of my face, but I'm way too vain for that!
(Check out my new icons)
kristyna.

the HAPPY christmas entry

2003-12-25T19:18:09Z

Happy birthday Jesus. And Merry Christmas to all. Especially Kristie and Greg because they called me and I was a negro and I didn't pick up because I was opening presents with my family. I don't know why I don't just call back. Probably because that would make the most sense. Sense isn't something that I have an abundance of. I'm just really busy today. But please, please, please call me between like 3-8 because I'll be at my aunt Carol's and good GOD I hate that woman. I really do. I'm not going to barf on and on about all the stuff I got because no one really cares. But I did get a digital camera and a PINK coat so I'm happy and thankful and all of that shit. I also got to see the Mexicans last night so everything is pretty ok. I really, sincerely hope that everyone is having a good day. Try not to think about all the people in the world who died today, kids who don't believe in Santa, people who are far away that you wish were close, the fact that your brother had your mom pick out your gift and then just gave her money even though he nearly slit your throat for even asking to wrap one of his girlfriend's gifts, and PLEASE stop fighting with your mom. Christmas is a HAPPY time. Ugh. I would also recommend not killing your aunt Carol either. You wouldn't want blood to get all over her black leather couch, gold pillows, white carpet, or rotating Christmas tree! And think about the oversized baby Jesus! Oh, the agony.
BUY111
kristyna.

the 7:00 in the morning entry

2003-12-23T12:34:53Z

Sleeping is for losers that have lives. The time is approximately 6:59 a.m. and I've been awake for about and hour. I kind of like it. This morning has been quite odd. And have no fear, I'm going to tell you every boring detail because it's 7:00 in the morning... what else am I going to do? My dad woke me up at about 5:00 to put me in his bed because the couch is really uncomfortable. But right when I got in his room, Lisa started like power puking in their bathroom. It was lyke toetally hardcore lyke. I mean, if there was underground barfing or something, she would be the undisputed queen. I really can't describe it, "disgusting" hardly does it. I did feel bad for her, don't get me wrong. But hearing someone throw up is just as bad as seeing or smelling it for me. I suppose tasting it or feeling it wouldn't be too good either. But after she was done, she got ready and I got to listen to her process. I really like that sort of thing. Like when my brother and I were younger and my mom still had some motivation, mild cooking skills, and a wee bit of happiness left in her, she would wake up early (meaning like 9:30 at our house) and make us breakfast and I just got to listen and I really liked that. It's fun to hear it and then try to see it in your head, I guess. (with the exception of Lisa puking) So after listening to her and my dad get ready, everyone left for work and I'm wide awake and I'm alone and it's kind of sad. I just peeled some more wallpaper, drank a gallon of orange juice, and now I really want to call Kristie and go out to breakfast but I don't want to wake her up because I'll feel bad. So if anyone wakes up and has the urge to go to breakfast, please call me. I'll pay. OMFG *&SDGJK(&% I think I'm going to do some yoga. #^*(*&$

kristyna.

JESUS' BIRTHDAY COUNTDOWN: 2 DAYS

the monday that i'm not in school OMG LOL LMAO entry

2003-12-23T04:21:26Z

I'm just an average teenager who invites her best friend over to peel wallpaper. That's just me. DON'T HATE US CAUSE YOU AIN'T US, NIGGA.
Today was fun n shit. Krissy Eliz came over and we did our stuff and Potso the puppy came back and we played with him and he scratched my belly really hard and it doesn't look that bad but it really hurts and then we went over Manda's but she wasn't home so we just fixed her Christmas lights in her front yard and I just remembered that I told her mom, "Have a nice Christmas" even though she's Jewish and then we went over Kari's and we laid on her bed and kicked off our shoes and she didn't notice we were there for about 5 minutes and that doesn't seem like a lot but it was funny and then Kari treated Kristie and I to a wonderful meal at Baker's Square what a doll she is and we mostly just laughed and I'm sure we annoyed everyone in the whole restaurant but it's okay because we had Subway for lunch. :D Me amigos and I then proceeded to Blockbuster to rent "Requiem for a Dream." There's this lady that works there with a bad speech problem, and I feel like a Sadistic bastard because everytime she waits on me and everytime I have to nearly piss in my pants a little so I don't laugh. It's not really her speech problem, it's more her eyes. One of them is a little googley or something. I'm going to hell. Anyway, I really liked the movie. Now I'm staying over my dad's house again and I have been wearing the same clothes for two days and it will be three tomorrow but I don't really care. And fuck you if you do. I'm really hungry and I feel kind of lonely. My life is just so hard. DIE everyone. I think some kind of trashy sex show is on so I'm going to stop now. BUY!
kristyna.

the puppy harry potter porn entry

2003-12-22T03:08:04Z

My dad talking about a "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" makeover: "He looked good, but I think they should have done his girlfriend over. Did you see what she was wearing!?" Oh, my dad the borderline metrosexual. Don't hate.
"Volcano High" is on right now. What the hell. I'm very confused and scared. Another thing I'm confused and scared about: mini corn on the cobs. I swear to God those things nearly make me shit my pants. They're creepy as fuck I tell you! We got Chinese food and they were in my vegetable fried rice and I had to have my dad pick them out and I still could barely eat it knowing they had been in there. Those damn Chinese mine as well have put spiders and mouse shit in my fucking rice. That sentence had a lot of swears.
Oh em gee zzz! I found the funniest journal ever. EVER. I don't know why I didn't mark it or write down the name or anything. Probably because I am a cunt. Anyway, this guy/girl was OBSESSED with Harry Potter, porn, and incest. So... when you combine the three you have porno stories in which Lucius and Draco Malfoy are fucking! They really went into great detail and it was just so funny and oddly arousing. Kidding. He/she had a ton of Harry Potter erotic stories. It made my day, no kidding. I love perverts who make children's stories into pornos. They are truly the heroes of our nation. (Along with Jesus of course.)
Today I peeled (PEALED? What is it OMG LOL@!$%^$#?) wallpaper in the baby's room. It used to be my room. I was actually never even consulted about my room being turned into a baby's room. But no tears, "We're going to put a futon in so you can sleep in there too. WITH the baby!" Finally, my Michael Jackson-esque fantasy of sleeping in a room with a baby will come true. The constant crying, and pooping... it will pretty much be like sharing a room with a smaller version of Kristie. :D Funny.
Speaking of Kristie, I found a puppy today. He was just sitting on the ground, barking at my dogs on the other side of the fence. So I got him and we played in my garage. He was really hungry, so I fed him. He was like the perfect little puppy and I really wanted to keep him so I was pissed when our next door neighbor told me that his name was some stupid ass name like "Potskey" and that he lived two houses down. FUCKING DOG OWNERS! So I kindly went over there and returned him to this whorebag drunk but kind of hot girl and I was down in the dumps. All I can do is thank Jesus for that erotic Harry Potter story writer who reminded me of the meaning of life. Who needs adorable puppies when you have that!? PSHSHS.
My Chinese fortune cookie reads: "You are a pracical person with your feet on the ground."
Geez, they must be real.
Another one: "A close friend reveals a hidden talent."
Hmmm... Kari, are you going to shock us all with you secret ability to knit using only your asshole? What about you, Kristie? Can you perhaps eat dictionaries and poop out words of the day? Keri... I think you may just have the ability to give yourself oral pleasure, hm? And dearest Greg... I just know you could probably bake a loaf of banana bread using only your mind. Come on guys, "wow" me. I'm bored.
kristyna.

the JESUS entry

2003-12-21T18:15:51Z

Long time no update. Well, I did update last weekend but I forgot to type in my username like an asshole and it vanished. I bet it's a sign from Jesus so that means it's okay. Jesus controls everything, you know. Jesus let me eat a really good lunch at La Sheesh and Jesus bought some cool presents for Kristie. Jesus made me clean my closet yesterday though. Jesus isn't all just fun and games. He also deleted Kazaa on my computer. He was probably just trying to save me from getting sued. Jesus isn't really a big fan of illegal file sharing. I'm getting really sick of everyone feeling sorry for themselves. REALLY. Whenever you're feeling down in the dumps, just think of me. I have no job, license, boyfriend, motivation, or goals. I don't feel sorry for myself. I just smile because I know Jesus made me this way on purpose. I LOVE JESUS AND ALL HE HAS BLESSED ME WITH. I make myself laugh a lot. My dad asked me if I fart today. I want to rape Mr. Deroo badly. Opening presents is embarassing. I LOVE PEELING (PEALING?) THINGS. Jesus made candy canes apparently, kristyna.

the you is a hoE entry

2003-12-11T23:04:41Z

This whole week can kiss my black ass. I've missed lots of school for no reason, so I guess that's pretty nice though. Lunch on Tuesday was especially fun.
Dear all Taco Bell employees working on Tuesday at about 10:45,
I love you.
The Taco Bell on Tuesday was so good it tasted like up-north Taco Bell. Almost.
KRISTEN RULES FOR DRIVING ME HOME TODAY.
And Kristie rules for putting aside her racism for black people and driving me to school everyday. YOU IS MAH BABY GURL!
Carolina rules too because she's my Mexican cousin who randomly grabs my boobies!
Everyday when my dad come home he hugs Lisa, says hi to her, and then bends down, kisses her stomach and says, "Hey, baby!" If that does not bring a tear to your eye you must have a black heart you whore!
What's up with people putting Christmas cards on the back of their front doors? I'm not understanding this.
BUY!
kristyna.

the cemetery entry

2003-12-07T23:01:04Z

LOLI'MSOBIPOLARROFL.
Today we got a Christmas tree. I hate real Christmas trees... they're the most depressing thing, no kidding. It just sits there looking pretty while it dies. Also depressing- cemeteries. I know it's hard to believe but they really are. Today we bought a weird little "grave blanket" to put on my grandpa's grave. My dad and Lisa were crying and it was kind of awkward so I just walked around and cried on my own. I'm a bad daughter. I kind of sickly enjoy cemeteries though, they're really beautiful in a strange way. They have hundreds of graves from the 1800s and such. I feel really bad for some of them because they don't have any flowers or anything on them. There's sixteen year olds, babies, and whole families there. One day I shall pick a bunch of dandelions or something and put one of every grave. That's what I'll do. Random acts of kindness for dead people RAWK! LYKE LOL.
Lisa is freaking out because she smells gas in the laundry room. CALL THE POPE!
Anticipating the day real Christmas trees become illegal,
kristyna.

the lond stupid entry

2003-12-07T04:55:31Z

I am so sick. Sick of everyone, everything. I hate when I'm in moods like this, but I can't help it. It's human. I'm sick of all the phony bastards in the world. I'm sick of people who copy off of other people to be cool. I'm sick of fake compliments, giggling boyfriends and girlfriends, highlights, Clarenceville whores who will stab anyone in the back to get to the top, people criticizing me for not being who they want me to be (my mom), bad breath, when people get into accidents and everyone all of a sudden acts like they give a flying fuck about them, people who think they're so unique and better than everyone, money, bragging, music being used as a status symbol, stupid mouths that have ugly lips that don't close, squinty eyes, guys with "cool" cars that think they're better than everyone, JENN, people who feel sorry for themselves and have no idea how lucky they are, the news, God, etc. I know, I know, this is like the most EMO entry ever but I can't help it sometimes. Last night was a strange and depressing night. I babysat the creepy possibly lesbian little girl next-door who said, "Kristyna, I love you... you're the best babysitter ever!" a total of 8 times. She also asked me the question that everyone feels comfortable answering- "What's a sperm?" After I went home with my hard earned $34, I layed/lie/lay on my bed and cried for a long time. Just thinking about everyone made me mad. I thought of my new cousin being born and how he was going to grow up with all the phony bastards and I kind of wanted to sneak to the hospital and steal him and raise him in the woods. And then just now I was thinking about the whole concept of online journals and it was making me mad. Everyone writes their entries trying to be all unique and funny and cute. Some people glorify stupid and pointless things to make their online friends think their life is so meaningful and exciting all the time. Including myself. All everyone wants to be is different and cute and cool and fun and funny. But that's kind of hard to do when you're copying off of all your friends. And hey, here's a tip to all the badass emo kids out there- you don't need to listen to every band in the world that one of your goddamn emo friends said a word about. Just because you know 395874 bands doesn't mean you're elite. It doesn't mean you'll be more successful in life, be famous, have a higher IQ, it means NOTHING. It's like they orgasm everytime they hear someone say, "Who is that!?" in reference to one of their two thousand bands scribbled on their emo folder. "LYKE OMG! I LISTEN TO DEATH CAB, THE EARLY NOVEMBER, BEN KWELLER, BRIGHT EYES, BRAND NEW, MODEST MOUSE, SAVES THE DAY, AND THE POSTAL SERVICE!!! THAT MUST MEAN I'M BETTER AND COOLER THAN YOU." Also, just because you've heard of a band or your friends like them, that doesn't automatically mean you're their number one fan. Are you guys taking notes out there? Geez. Probably when I wake up tomorrow this entry will be embarrassing and I'll wonder why I was so goddamn disgruntled. It's just, life should be about lollipops, cute Mexican girls, funny hillbilly voices, orgasmic secret passages between your school and a garbage can, car rides with the bass up and the Christmas music blasting, people saying "I love you" and seriously meaning it, presents just because, ugly animals, small schools, exception, cheap toys, babies being born and everyone smiling, touching, rum cake from jamaica, and homemade wreaths. God, I'm such a whore. I hope this entry burns in hell, it's the worst ever.
BUY!
kristyna.

the etc. entry

2003-12-02T01:08:01Z

Me: "I know I was an accident."
Mom: "What makes you think that?"
Me: "No one plans to have a baby when they're 20."
Mom: "Well, planning things isn't fun... surprises are the spice of life!"
:D How nice. Today was boring-o-rama. I can't even look forward to eating lunch because I have to save up money to buy Christmas presents. Eating is the only thing that seems to bring light to the black hole that some would call my heart. Just kidding, but I sure do fancy a good meal. I had a strange day dream today in which Conor Oberst and I fucked in a limo after an award show. I wouldn't mind getting a piece of this ass:

Oy. I am such a horny bastard. Anyway. I kind of feel like wearing the jeans that I'm wearing today everyday this week. They're just so comfortable. And, no, I'm not going to wash them. Do you think I'm rich? They're just goddamn pants though. It's not like I'm splooging all over them, rolling in mud, or wiping boogers on them everyday. See, a shirt would be kind of gross because I guess you sweat and are more likely to get stuff on it, but I still don't really care.
Erika's due on Fri. I like mentioning personal family news because no one cares. Really, you may pretend but I'm sure you could give a shit less about my Mexican aunt's baby. I was thinking about this today in Economics when Amanda Kittle was barfing on and on about shopping for her niece, her dad smoking, her mom's identity theft problem, and blah blah blah. SHUT THE HELL UP, FO REALZ.
BIG NEWS:
Full House is now officially on ABC Family at 6:00p every week night!!!!!! Get your VCRs ready folks, this is monumental.
END OF THE BIG NEWS
Last night I wrote a really long letter to nobody. Excerpt: "How have you been? You've been gone for so long I've somehow gotten acquainted to your absence. I never thought life would be like this five years ago, with you so far away. I miss the way things used to be..."
Ha! It's so cheesy and fabulous. I think I may have a new late night hobby, it's so soothing.
Waiting to pick up my phone and hear you say "It's so nice to hear your voice,"
kristyna.

the rubik's cube entry

2003-11-28T23:00:53Z

"The Rubik's cube is actually an invention of the 70s. Erno Rubik, a Hungarian obsessed with 3D geometry started visualising his 3D cube in late 1974. Initially it seemed that constructing a working model would be nearly impossible. None of the designs at the time could solve the complex interaction of the elements."
ERNO RUBIK, I CURSE YOU!
Spending three hours in the middle of the night trying to solve the fucking Rubik's Cube is not cool at all. Before I die, I want to solve one. That's my goal. Some people can solve on in under 20 seconds. Like this guy named Chris Hardwick. Yes, friends... I have done my research. I have a new obsession. And being obsessed w/the Rubik's Cube is toetally kewl, eye no! WHATlikeEVER.
kristyna.

P.S. Dear Jenn,
Lay off Carolina! She's my little Mexican, you bitch! Why must you try to take everything I care about away from me?? Are Kristie, Keri, and Kari next!? Fuck off.
All my love,
kristyna.

Dear Kristie, Keri, and Kari,
If Jenn tries to become your friend don't do it.
Thanks,
kristyna.

the dream entry

2003-11-27T17:19:52Z

Shut up! I had a dream last night that I had a penis (I think I might have been a guy) and was fucking a girl and my dad let me borrow a plastic condom that was hot pink and too big, no lie. WHAT THE HELL.
HAPPY TURKEY DEATH DAY! WOO HOO!
kristyna.

the blowjobs in movie theatres entry

2003-11-27T06:24:03Z

What a night, no kidding. Kristie and I went to Emagine and saw "Love Actually." It's hard to describe exactly how strange the whole experience was, but I'll give it a whistle. A whistle? Where did I get that from? Is that even a phrase? Anyway, when we did find the goddamn theatre and sat down this snooty little couple in front of us decided to move because we were whispering I suppose. I mean, I can tell when I'm being obnoxious, and I wasn't. (Kristie actually was, but that's not new :D) So, Kristie and I decided to get up and move behind their new spot to annoy the hell out of them. No, we didn't really but we discussed how funny it would be. (We're pussies) Well, the bastard that moved was breathing so loud throughout the movie that I felt like killing myself slowly with just a fork. But this gets better. This darling little teenage girl behind us thought it would be appropriate to give her boyfriend a blowjob in the theatre. I'm not kidding, lying, making this up, or exaggerating- swear to "God." Kristie and I nearly shat ourselves and of course couldn't stop watching. But they were polite about it, afterall, they did cover her head/his penis with a coat. Whew! It's nice that kids these days have the decency to partially cover up there sexual activity in movie theatres. I bet their parents would be proud. Speaking of proud parents, on the way home Kristie full on ran a red light! My little girl is growing up.
Krazy Kristie Kwote:
"I accidently did it on purpose."
OMGZZ eye can't think of n e more but their were some funne 1s!
This is for you, Megan:

Deer Amurrica,
Hey, what's ^? NMH. Eye kind of don't want 2 b Prez. nemore. Buy!
Luv,
Prez Nixon <3

GOOD TIMES,
kristyna.

P.S. The movie was okay.